SINGULARLY SINGLE

What does it mean to be single in a world where everything comes in pairs?

A good part of my early adult years was spent dodging the incurable ‘match makers’ who believed that everyone above the age 18 must be tied to someone or something, even if it is only to the nearest peepul tree. They tried to market the ‘supreme settlement’ theory by waxing eloquent on the marvels of marriage, which ranged from  somebody being there to make  black coffee when I have the flu to someone walking with me well into the sunset!

Some friends constantly advise me to “go and get a life!” I have deduced that this advice stems from a collective mindset which undermines solitary existence and considers it to be as exciting as that of a leech gatherer's.

When I remained unimpressed, few well meaning  members of my family  tried to shock me into submission by painting blood-dripping pictures on my mental canvas-  their all-time  favorite being  that of maggots feasting on my mortal remains. Incidentally, I've a congenital habit of sleeping through horror films, which worked well in my favor, and all concerted efforts to chill my marrow failed.

One hassled member of the much- married tribe accused me  point-blank -- “Plain selfish, that’s what you are! Just ‘ME ME’  all the way!” Translated, it meant that any person  devoid of    husband, in laws and a pair of  pint-sized horrors (children) is drop- dead selfish. It might comfort them to know that life spent  in the company of  ageing, hearing aid -free parents is no stroll-in-the-park either!

Of course being single, as with all other forms of existence, can be happy and crappy in turns! Sometimes, I spend long hours by myself wondering what makes the rest of the world tick. Other times may be spent ruminating on unsavory remarks or tactfully asking people if they minded minding their own business. I’ve also had to suffer the ignominy of people, who I barely knew, asking me about the ‘issues’ I had!! ‘Oh, you wouldn’t want to know’ I'd growl  inwardly.

But, as with everything else, there’s a sunny side to the solitary state! Thankfully I am spared the potential trauma of living with a tiresome individual whose habits can shame a sloth ,  lose  peace  over  the spouse’s  dalliances while I’m away nursing  his mom’s broken hip or  worry about  his participation, incognito, in the LGBT  rainbow  parade!

To the gentle and thoughtful souls who have told me that people who are single do not count, all I want to do is to congratulate them on their domestic trappings. Meanwhile, I prefer to just drift along with the barest of fuss –thank you!

All for fun on the world wide web

You may travel wide, you may travel far,

Make lots of money and spend it all,

But there's no fun until you've spun 

Your tale of adventure on the world wide web !

You may bake a cake or roast a steak,

For your sweet heart or your l'il one,

But where’s the  fun, until you've spun,

A tale of your venture on the world wide web ?

Taken pictures with divas and glam dolls in tow ?

Your latest Bullet or your new Jersey cow ?

Where do you stand if the world hasn't glimpsed 

Your magnificent life on the world wide web ? 

Who cares if your smile was true or faked 

While you staggered thro' parties for ol' times sake?

There's plenty of fun, only after you’ve spun, 

Tales o dazzle and wonder on the world wide web !

The Magic of December

The magical month of December is always  marked by seasonal festivities and the much-awaited holidays!

It all began two thousand years ago on a mysterious night, when a ‘king’ was born in a cattle shed!  It was a night like no other, and the world began to celebrate the difference!

 All through my early years, the first spark of the season was lit at school. The dreaded term exams would be done away with and every child would wait with bated breath for December.

 Soon carol books would be whisked out and full- throated ‘Joy to the World’ would rent the air following which the season would be officially declared as ‘arrived’!   

At home, the baking and making would begin in full gusto. Every neighbor would be greeted by an aroma that hinted at hidden pleasures and every guest would be  offered a slice of ‘baked heaven’ that was forbidden to inmates of the house until the D-day !

Some day before X’mas, a carol party would sneak in during the wee hours and, with much ado and fanfare, announce the Savior’s birth to the bleary-eyed! 

Apparently, all that cheery singing required a great deal of energy and the choir was watered and fed  wherever they went. Robust singing always cheered me, yet I have often wondered why people were woken in the dead of night only to be told about something that they already knew!

Winter wonderland and the jolly Santa were confined to the cards that came my way yet, there was magic and a warm fairy tale glow to all things around at that time of the year!

Altruism knows no season or reason but, during December the act of giving gathers unprecedented momentum !  When impelled by greed, generosity snowballs into shameless indulgence. Through ‘buy- or- die’ sloganeering, the month of December has become a platform for strategized marketing and out-sized consumerism.

 Over the years the season has lost its sheen, and December its magic! There now exists a need to revive the old spark and to celebrate wisely.

Here's hoping that the magic of December keeps the child in each of us alive and that it continues to spread cheer all through the year !  

If I Knew I Wouldn't Fail

If i knew I wouldn't fail--
I'd fly so high,
To where the eagles dare,
And be but a blur,
To the world below!

If I knew i wouldn't fail--
I'd float, tranquil,
On a white swan's back,
Along a meandering stream
On her seaward trail !

If I knew i wouldn't fail--
On a rainy day, i'd sqeeze my way,
Through a sparrow's nest
Perched high,Swaying,
Yet braving the storm!

If I knew I wouldn't fail --
I'd brave the cold air
To trek  glaciers
And comb  forests,
For those  time-defying souls !

If I knew I wouldn't fail --
Like a nomad I'd search,
The whole wide world
For that Entity --
Elusive, exclusive,that can
Make me whole !

Pastes, Pumpkins and Paranoiac Excesses

Caution: This blog is not for the silent, suffering spiritual slaves who are likely to find its contents offensive!! This article reflects my personal views and must not be construed as “anti-religious”!

Festivals are fun –but it’s also a time when our carefully –crafted world takes a turn for the bizarre!
On a certain pooja day, a colleague rushed into my room with a bowl of sandal wood paste and proceeded to smear it on the bookshelves, furniture and other inanimate objects with formidable fervor! Having nearly completed her task she came to my desk, stood menacingly, and was about to resume her smearing when I decided to protest.
She gave me a startled look, which soon gave way to a condescending snigger; translated it meant that sometime in the future she would be watching from Heaven while I gnashed my teeth in Hell in retaliation for the sacrilege ....!!

Another community act that evokes rash behavior is the “pumpkin act.” It is customary to see innocuous-looking pumpkins being used to ward off the “evil eye” after which they are ceremoniously smashed on the roads outside shops or homes. This has often led to fatal and near-fatal accidents, forcing the cops to ban the “act”! What a sorry state of affairs for a nutritious veggie originally created to serve a far nobler cause..!
At this point I need to draw your attention on to a religious sect whose members are constantly on the look -out for lost sheep. Once such a sheep is identified they trail him until he threatens them with dire consequences or, alternatively, decides to enter their fold (for want of anything better to do!!).
I happen to live in the same neighborhood where members of this sect meet every week and take immeasurable glee in bringing the roof down with their religious excesses. This went on for a while until tired neighbors with frayed nerves notified the police. Now the decibels have lowered, but the show goes on!
Yes, we are a secular land where everyone has freedom to express. But I personally believe that religious ‘expressions’ must never spill on to roads, offices or other public places and clog our lives, but must be confined to the precincts of our homes or other allotted premises !
Any public display of religious emotions, acts, symbols, verbiage or bravado must be strongly condemned. Zealots must be encouraged to practice the irrefutable doctrine of “mind-your-business-mend-your-soul-first” !
Given our current scenario there is no such thing as religious harmony—at best there can be religious tolerance which is akin to skating on thin ice!!
I am not saying that there should be no public places of worship---all that I’m suggesting is “please make them sound-proof”!

A Belated Travelogue

I have never been very good at chronicling my life, despite being the proud owner of a diary!

Even as everyone I knew wrote about their new year revelries and resolves  and produced photographic evidences of the same  , I lazed around and sulked in a mental mire.

The need to describe my year end journey sprouted lately and I decided to lend life to it !

Travelling to Kerala was always an enriching experience – the bountiful beauty of the Western Ghats, its landscapes and waterscapes, its calmer lifestyles and cleaner surroundings can  be a  soul-soothing balm to any weary soul.

Meeting relatives has always been a down- to- earth experience and I wished I could do it more often.



On the first day a trek was organized to  the ill-explored regions of a  dam nearby . It was infested with snakes -- we were warned -- but we had dealt with  creepier versions and so we went, my cousins and I …..!

The next day , a day trip  resulted in an  unusual tryst with an assembly of ' pious ' pachyderms--in an enclosure adjacent to a renowned temple.

In the afternoon, the sea faring and the sturdier amongst us set out on a  cruise   and soon we found ourselves drifting amidst mangroves towards the sea,  in an old fashioned boat called 'Thangamani' . It was then that catharsis set in  and I realized that breath- taking beauty could sting…! Shades of blue and green carpeted the horizon  while  we stood out in our reds and blacks. I began to  wonder if we really should be there..!

I was traversing a land where socialism shakes hand with commercialism. There were ayurvedic resorts on small islands, where the rich and the famous could ease their worries and trim their waists by undergoing the pleasurable rigors of ayurveda. I was told it cost 17,000 rupees for a single day. …I swore I’ll take to walking, and that too in right earnest!


Good things come with a dead line and so it was with my vacation. I had to get back home- to Chennai.

Kerala was to me the land  of my ancestors – and I always watched the place  through an alien’s eye. Strangely, this time, when I came back home , the sense of belonging was not palpable, although I wouldn’t say it was altogether missing.


Was it a kind of detachment  or is the COSMOS trying to tell me something…??

I’m yet to find out……

My Tryst with Facebook: Friendships and Face-offs

I had been leading a strange life lately!

It was as if I had stepped out of the confines of a coffin each morning, rushed around to meet –and- greet fellow ghouls and had hurried back into the box at night, only to repeat the routine next day!!

Phew! that was sanguinous, i’m aware....but that’s how life had been for a while. To break the monotony of drudgery, disease and convalescence and to overcome the ‘grief’ of a cancelled trip abroad, I sought refuge on FB and since then life has never been quite the same.

Facebook has been beckoning for sometime, but it was not until four months ago that I succumbed to its reckoning force.

It didn’t take long before the curtains were drawn to reveal a world of intrigue, jealousy, lust, romance, wealth and power. I watched spell- bound as conquests, connections, donations, dogs and husbands were proudly flashed before the public eye.

I was amused to find bandwagons running amuck on FB and people following a fond one around with the faithfulness and ferocity of a love-sick terrier. You may chose to hop on to the raunchiest or the jolliest bandwagon, as you may find suitable. As a die-hard Gemini I hop from one to another, to savor the best of both!

It was then that I chanced upon folks who tried to use my space to promote their ‘causes’. First the friend- request arrived, which I initially ignored. As I was lauding myself on having done the right thing, another arrived and I succumbed to its irresistible persuasiveness.

The nightmare began when I found my wall being plastered with slogans drawing attention to the plight of delinquent ducks or, persuading me to participate in a candle –lit vigil for aberrant cats that have stopped mewing and are crooning instead! I managed to hit the de-friend button in time to save my sanity!!

And just when I thought that things can’t get any worse I found my wall being used for a smear campaign. Although the attack was meant for another, the viciousness hit ME on the face before I lunged for the de-friend button!

The power of FB is overwhelming. I’ve made a few friends and, if a bunch of us met after two decades it was thanks to FB!But it has also made me feel that Big Bro is watching. It gave me the creeps when friend- requests arrived from people whom I had, earlier, wanted to be packed off to Planet Pluto, without fresh water supply!

I discovered a few ‘friends’ who sat on my wall and watched the proceedings as if it were a racket game.Their presence baffled me.....why were they there? I didn’t know and after a while I didn’t want to know. I simply knocked them off my wall!

All said- and- done, FB is awesome! It allows one to share (or brag) in style!

It is a splendid platform where thinkers, achievers, potential lovers, megalomaniacs, incurable flirts, compulsive liars, sports enthusiasts, dog lovers and connoisseurs of women and w(h)ine freely mingle with social wannabes, page 3 folks, experts and has-beens from all walks of life..!

Now if that is not fun....what is?