Curry Bashing, Down Under

Sometimes late in the evening when I return home it is the smell of my mother’s cooking that greets me at the stairway. The customary aroma of spices, expertly blended, has never ever failed to revive my dulled senses. What is life without the curry?

But to my profound horror, I realized that there are many across the globe who disagree—some mildly, some condescendingly, even as others were belligerent and mocking!

As Indian TV channels whipped up mass sympathy for the Indians who continue to be attacked in Oz, my thoughts went to my friend and family, in Melbourne and Sydney respectively.

After several hours of bleary-eyed TV gazing I decided to scan the net to get to the pit of the matter. What emerged left me disgusted and dazed.

It looks like the Curry has stirred up a storm world -wide leaving several ‘almost dead’ in its wake. It has been described by many in a ‘less-than- becoming’ manner, and has been accused of generating a race of ‘Smelly Indians’ who reek of spices that emanate from their pores!
As if that is not enough these smelly Indians, having favorably partaken of the Curry, exhibit disgusting habits that a decent blogger cannot list. One notably infuriating trait is the persistent hollering in their native Hindi, which is like ‘Mary calling the cattle home’! It goes without saying that their hygiene leaves much to be desired. All this thanks to the heat, the dust the grime and of course---the Curry!

Now if only they would resort to face -saving tactics such as washing themselves in a basin of water or aesthetically tissue-wipe their rears ((which is clearly a sign of the civilized)) they would be less smelly. If that is not possible, the least that these stinking Indians could do is to take a leaf out of the civilized world and drown their BO in dollops of deo !

If these things cannot be done they may take to eating rare steak soaked in blood (O yes… the best way sir!) or , like the far- east fellows, consume crawling reptiles for breakfast, lunch and dinner and snack on locusts for tea! They could follow the African model and eat buffalo or elephant meat --dehydrated and dried in the sanctity of the living room.

Instead what do they do? They concoct spices and stir a curry, the stench of which has the potential to bring OB Laden crawling out of his hiding hole! Vermins!

What do you think, my countrymen? Were we not a civilization long, long before the criminals set up home in Australia? Not many know that people in the southern tip of India were actually reading the Bible when the ancestors of these civilized curry bashers and dot busters were, possibly, swinging between trees!

Although it is no excuse for our de-glamorized image the world over, let us never forget that the uncivilized West de-civilized us, ruined us as a race and brought indignity and shame to our people. And the scars still remain! Regaining lost glory may be Herculean, but we need to try!

PS-By the way, the Aussies find our numbers overwhelming! Wonder why their number is dwindling? Perhaps the Curry could help!?