Sunday, May 30, 2010

Why Friends are Roses

Hindsight, they say, gives a rare insight and it is on this strength that I set the ball rolling!

As a single child, growing up in the conventional settings of the late sixties and seventies, it didn’t take long before friends replaced pacifiers in my life.

Single children were a rarity those days and most of my friends were blessed with a natural set of play mates – Siblings! This meant that I was more dependant on them than they would ever be on me and, ever since, I have been a witness to the many face(t)s of friendship!

Let me begin with my ‘little’ friends (from those far- off days) who dominated me because I was desperate for their company to play silly games such as ‘London Bridge’ or ‘Hide-and-Seek’! Despite my size let me say that I know how the Lilliputs must have felt when they had to deal with Gulliver!

Years rolled on, friends came and went....

In the meantime there were many who used my services as an Agony Aunt, when I had to spend hours listening to unabated whining. Needless to say these ‘friends’ would simply vanish on the first sign of so much as a whimper from me!

Soon there came a time when my utility as a ‘soft toy’ was put to good use-- when I was required to hold hands, lend a shoulder or make soothing noises, according to the need of the hour, and frantically hope that it works!

How can I forget my ‘special’ friends who loved to update me on issues such as girlfriend number 34 from half way across the globe? I must say their calls were more frequent, and also lasted longer, whenever the ‘flavor of the season’ lost its fragrance.

Then there were those pals who ensured that I have been supplied with all the details of the magnificent, awe- inspiring lives that they have been lucky to lead! Special mention must be made of those who personally hand- picked me to reveal the juicy details of their mind-blowing escapades.

A big ‘thank you’ to all of them! What would have been my life without such ‘mouth -watering’ disclosures?!

There were friends who treated me well until the day I ‘invaded’ their comfort zone. There were others who feigned friendship only to use it as an excuse to enter the ‘no trespassing’ areas -- it did not take them long to fiddle with the ‘privacy settings,’ make off –the- cuff remarks and divulge my personal details to anyone who cared to hear!

With some friends I’ve entered a ‘you-scratch-my-back-and –I’ll –scratch-yours’ pact. It can be tiring at times, but it does work!

Some well -connected friends participate half -heartedly in this glorious game of friendship, possibly because they are anxious that a whole- hearted involvement might prompt me to seek favors!!!..
I say folks, don’t we pass this way but once?

I’m eternally grateful to the ‘I’ll be there for you’ category –the best type of FRIENDS -- -just that I wish I knew where ‘there’ is!!

It is not that I am an updated version of Damon or Pythias. Even as I write this I don’t stand in judgment of anyone, for each one of my friends has helped to fill- in emotional black holes and are the roses in my garden of friendship!

I say roses because friends sustain the beauty of life. Nevertheless roses are special in that they come with thorns. Unless one is careful, one is left to bleed!