Friday, December 26, 2014

SINGULARLY SINGLE

What does it mean to be single in a world where everything comes in pairs?

A good part of my early adult years was spent dodging the incurable ‘match makers’ who believed that everyone above the age 18 must be tied to someone or something, even if it is only to the nearest peepul tree. They tried to market the ‘supreme settlement’ theory by waxing eloquent on the marvels of marriage, which ranged from  somebody being there to make  black coffee when I have the flu to someone walking with me well into the sunset!

Some friends constantly advise me to “go and get a life!” I have deduced that this advice stems from a collective mindset which undermines solitary existence and considers it to be as exciting as that of a leech gatherer's.

When I remained unimpressed, few well meaning  members of my family  tried to shock me into submission by painting blood-dripping pictures on my mental canvas-  their all-time  favorite being  that of maggots feasting on my mortal remains. Incidentally, I've a congenital habit of sleeping through horror films, which worked well in my favor, and all concerted efforts to chill my marrow failed.

One hassled member of the much- married tribe accused me  point-blank -- “Plain selfish, that’s what you are! Just ‘ME ME’  all the way!” Translated, it meant that any person  devoid of    husband, in laws and a pair of  pint-sized horrors (children) is drop- dead selfish. It might comfort them to know that life spent  in the company of  ageing, hearing aid -free parents is no stroll-in-the-park either!

Of course being single, as with all other forms of existence, can be happy and crappy in turns! Sometimes, I spend long hours by myself wondering what makes the rest of the world tick. Other times may be spent ruminating on unsavory remarks or tactfully asking people if they minded minding their own business. I’ve also had to suffer the ignominy of people, who I barely knew, asking me about the ‘issues’ I had!! ‘Oh, you wouldn’t want to know’ I'd growl  inwardly.

But, as with everything else, there’s a sunny side to the solitary state! Thankfully I am spared the potential trauma of living with a tiresome individual whose habits can shame a sloth ,  lose  peace  over  the spouse’s  dalliances while I’m away nursing  his mom’s broken hip or  worry about  his participation, incognito, in the LGBT  rainbow  parade!

To the gentle and thoughtful souls who have told me that people who are single do not count, all I want to do is to congratulate them on their domestic trappings. Meanwhile, I prefer to just drift along with the barest of fuss –thank you!

Sunday, January 5, 2014

All for fun on the world wide web

You may travel wide, you may travel far,
Make lots of money and spend it all,
But there's no fun until you've spun 
Your tale of adventure on the world wide web !

You may bake a cake or roast a steak,
For your sweet heart or your l'il one,
But where’s the  fun, until you've spun,
A tale of your venture on the world wide web ?

Taken pictures with divas and glam dolls in tow ?
Your latest Bullet or your new Jersey cow ?
Where do you stand if the world hasn't glimpsed 
Your magnificent life on the world wide web ? 


Who cares if your smile was true or faked 
While you staggered thro' parties for ol' times sake?
There's plenty of fun, only after you’ve spun, 
Tales o dazzle and wonder on the world wide web !